dirty little secret
by sharingstories2
Summary: "So now you know my dirty little secret Maya. I left because I lost" VERY AU, MATURE CONTENT. WARNINGS INSIDE
1. Chapter 1

**A/N this contains drug abuse, very heavy drug abuse and mature content so please please only read if you are over 18**

"No… you don't disappear for twelve months then appear and expect for it to be okay. So tell me Riley where the hell were you?" Maya screamed at her best friend. A years' worth of anger and desperation pouring out of her. She had many ideas as to where Riley had gone, she had asked the Matthews of course but they were very secretive so even if she imagined where she was she never expected the answer she got.  
"I was in rehab" Riley said in disgrace. Maya stared at her.  
"Rehab?" she questioned. Riley sighed and sat down.  
"You never noticed because I kept it from you. It had only been happening for two months and personally I thought I had it under control" the seventeen year old took a deep breath.  
"It started off as a way to let go you know. School and home were just so _overwhelming. I didn't know what to do._ So I went to a downtown party." Maya gasped, those parties were notorious for starting late and finishing even later and she couldn't imagine her sweet innocent best friend there.  
"It started out small, smoking a joint and taking some pills but I knew it was wrong I didn't care. I wanted to feel Maya."

The blonde sat down, perplexed onto how she missed it.  
"I started lying, telling my mum and dad I was somewhere else, I knew I was wrecking myself but god Maya… the high you got let you forgot and just chill. I couldn't stop. I eventually got the reputation for an easy sell at which point they started selling me the harder stuff."

Maya gulped, where the hell was everyone when this was happening? Where was she?.  
"I knew I couldn't afford it" Riley gulped, a tear running down her face.  
"I began to steal stuff, money from wherever I could find it. Hell I sold half my stuff just so I could feel something" she gulped. She was so ashamed of what she had done.  
"It wasn't enough Maya and god I wish it was. Downtown I got a rep for being _easy."_ Riley began sobbing.  
"Auggie found some drugs in my room and asked what they were, I told them they helped me feel better. Jesus Maya I kept drugs in the house where my little brother slept." Riley wrung her hands.

"The highs became the reason I lived and eventually I needed more, it was when my parent's found out. Uncle Josh found me passed out on a sidewalk after snorting" Maya gasped. She hadn't expected it in all honesty.  
"He forced me into rehab. It was hell, I wanted to die Maya because how dare they take away the only thing I lived for?" she gulped  
"Eventually I got better and I told the police about the drug deals and Jesus it was the hardest thing I've ever done Maya but I left you all to find myself and I'll never regret it Maya because I know who I am and a druggie is not that."

Riley got up and dusted herself down.  
"So now you know my dirty little secret Maya. I left because I got lost"


	2. Dear readers

Dear readers.

This is to address something that quite a few people have noticed, whether you have only read this story or others you may have noticed that a lot of my stories carry dark themes such as

· Suicide

· Mental illness

· Rape

· Abuse (of any kind)

· Self-harm

So I feel the need to stress this and I need your help. If you have read any of my stories and they have triggers, even if the trigger seems really remote could you please leave a review or private message, as much as the stories I write are for the reader's enjoyment sometimes they can be very triggering. Thank you.

That is not the reason I have written this note. I am here today to tell everyone that they are worth it, even if you don't believe it, I do. You are all stronger than what ails you and what ails you can be defeated, I believe that everyone has an inner battle inside them but you can survive. If you are experiencing anything, whether it be mental illness or you have been through a traumatic experience, hell even if you just feel sad or upset it is okay to get help. It is okay. I understand this is scary and it could mean that you will have to experience changes that you are not ready for but it will all be worth it. You can get there.

I want to wish everyone reading this all the happiness in the world, you deserve it. Remember you all have beautiful souls and its okay to feel sad and alone or whatever you are feeling. I want you to know that even if you feel like no one believes in you, I do.

Thank you all, I hope you all find happiness and joy in your lives.

\- Sharingstories2


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